Yes, I'm fussy. So be it. I know myself well enough to know that I'd rather have myself for my own Mr. Right than be with someone and feel alone anyway. Self-fulfilling prophecy in the making? Perhaps, but I'd rather be open and honest now and scare people away (if that's the case) than embrace compromises that I'm reasonably certain aren't wise. Of course, if he and I are "clicking," then I'll bet he and I can manage compromises that are good for us. But, until we're really clicking (naturally while just being ourselves) then I can't see such compromises being wise. Nevertheless, my thoughts were these on this day.
What must be true about my Mr. Right (even when it must be me)?
I'm sure this list isn't exhaustive.
First, the short answers. Second, the long answers.
1. He must love God without apology, and enjoy worshiping God without apology (redundant, I know). That doesn't mean that he's got God all figured out. I doesn't mean that we agree on every jot and tittle. It doesn't mean that we're at the same spot in our journeys. Basically, it means that he has a moral compass that he believes is God given and he seeks to do the best he can to honor God.
2. He must proactively, unambiguously, and continuously demonstrate (naturally) that he is into me, especially when I have tried, explicitly, to do the same towards him. Either we are into each other, or we are not.
3. He must (because its simply part of his nature) say to me, "I love you" many time throughout everyday, and he must enjoy me saying that to him be it through writing, texting, silliness, or speaking, the words "I love you" from each other will be music to our ears, eyes, and souls.
4. He's proactive about keeping his waistline under control.
5. He must be attracted to me, and (obviously) I must be attracted to him.
6. He must be want us to be out and open about our relationship.
7. We must be able and willing to pool our financial resources together and make our lives as best as we can.
8. Age is not the most important thing, but we must face aging issues and understand each other.
9. Feminine vs Masculinity. Simply put, we must be compatible. If we're into each other, we're into each other.
10. Location must be compatible for both of us.
11. We must enjoy the same foods.
12. Wife vs. Husband roles... compatibility is important.
13. I hope he hates profanity and derogatory name calling as much as I do.
14. He must be a non-smoker.
15. He must not use drugs.
16. We must be sexually compatible.
Now, the long answers:
1. He must proactively and unambiguously demonstrate (naturally) that he is into me when I have tried, explicitly, to do the same towards him. I won't keep him waiting, in the dark, unsure, wondering. I will tell him many times everyday, "I love you." Call it insecurity, neediness, or clingy, or whatever. It's how it is. I want the compassionate, nurturing fire twenty-four hours a day and we can manage that appropriately. I don't want to be kept waiting, in the dark, unsure, wondering. We must feed each other a steady stream of reassurance.
2. He would have to tell me "I love you" many times everyday. Call it insecurity on my part. Call it whatever. Of course, I'd want "I love you," backed up with actions, not necessarily perfect actions but actions that are explicitly on the right track. It's not enough just to do things. It's not enough just to say things. Both "doing" and "saying" are necessary. I enjoy both the words and the actions. I enjoy being on both the giving and the receiving ends.
3. He must be attracted to me, and (obviously) I must be attracted to him. The most handsome looking guys have not always attracted me, and the world has never revolved around me. A person might LOOK cute, or LOOK handsome, but are they cute, or handsome, on the inside? I have found average looking people to be very attractive. This is a person-by-person matter. Either we are mutually attracted to each other, or we are not. I must like him whether he shaves or not. I must like him in the morning upon waking up. I must like him no matter how he wears his hair. He must like me too.
4. He must be want us to be out and open about our relationship. He must enjoy having pictures of us posted on websites. He must enjoy posting and helping me do some posting. He must want to make video (not sex videos) with me and post them on websites. He must be open to spontaneous affections any time, any place, any day. His family must know about us. My family must know about him.
5. We must be financially compatible and secure. He would have to want to pool our resources and work everything out within our means. We'd have to talk, talk, talk, plan, plan, plan, agree, agree, agree. Maybe he makes more money than me. Maybe I make more than him. Financial compatibility is a must. Security for both of us is a must.
6. Age is not the most important thing, but... This one is tricky. I don't mind being the older person, but I'm not a chaser after younger guys, and I don't want to be a daddy. Some younger guys behave and talk more maturely than some older guys. I don't mind being the younger person. Age certainly CAN matter, but it might not be the most important thing.
9. Feminine vs Masculine. I don't like the extremes. Flaming masculinity can be just as annoying as flaming anything else. Some girly guys look very cute, are very talented, very kind, are a pleasure to be with, and I applaud them for being themselves. Manly guys who aren't TRYING to be manly, but just are and are not censoring their every moves and who aren't judgmental towards the girly guys can be very attractive. Macho(ism) is a BIG turn off for me. I consider myself a mix of the two. But, if we're into each other, we're into each other.
10. Location. The USA is my home country. As things are, I cannot afford to live with Mr. Right anywhere else (unless he's rich enough to fully support both of us and whatever it takes for me to live there. I'm certainly not chasing gold, for I would be more than glad to work for a living, but visa matters are part of reality, and I am just stating the facts). At the time of this posting, I was (maybe still am) living / working in South Korea ... where Mr. Right (for me and when it's not me) seems no where to be found (I didn't go to South Korea to look for "Mr. Right," but I've had no objections against finding him there.).
11. Food. Mr. Right (for me) cannot be a vegetarian. He must be concerned about his waistline, but not against eating fried foods, burgers, pizza, ice cream, and whatever. I cook the way my mother did-- not fancy cooking, just simple cooking. I love home cooking. I would hope we would enjoy cooking in the kitchen together. I love (on occasions) venturing out to eat and enjoying various ambiances.
13. I hope he hates profanity and derogatory name calling as much as I do. Really, do I need to expand on this?
14. He must be a non-smoker.
15. He must not use drugs.
16. No doubt, we must be sexually compatible. However, until all of the above are true, I see no point in worrying about this one, and I'm not really wanting to post certain information about myself on this particular blog.
It may be true that I'm gonna be single longer than I already have been. I can live with that. But, just in case... that's all for now!
No comments:
Post a Comment